Anger is an understatement!!! Since my bleed back in 1974 when I was 14 years old I would punch walls people anything at all. I will tell my wife and son too please don’t get me mad. I have never hit them I now just block them out go outside leave for a couple hours even half a day so when I get home I am calm, even if my wife yells at me where were you I just say you really got me mad and I had to leave period. This sure beats hitting something or someone. Just a thought hope this helps.
Wow! So glad to know that we are not alone in this anger thing. My husband had a cerebral AVM removed with a small portion of his brain (Occipital Lobe area) a year ago to this day. We thought the anger was coming from the Keppra, and it did get better when he got off that medicine, but he still deals with anger a lot. And like a lot of others, it does get reflected onto the family since we are the closest to him. I never knew there was a Neuropsychiatrist though. He has other mental issues that we have been seeing a regular psych for, but no one even mentioned or suggested the Neuropsch to us. SOOOOO very glad that you brought this subject up and thanks for all the feedback on this. James...hang in there buddy. You are in a great place to get some great advice and support. Good luck to you and I pray you find some solutions soon.
Good morning James, at least I hope it is good.
I have the same issue. Things get me so upset after 10 and a half years I literally have to bite my lip and leave to another room in the house. I do this so I don’t displace my anger, with whatever situation has put me into a tailspin, on the people I love.
My father knows how it feels and sonetimes says he wonders if the bleeding has caused a form of tourettes. His reason behind wondering is that sometimes I “seem to just yell out whatever is on my mind like I don’t know” I’m “saying it out loud”.
Make no mistake that however wrong everyone else thinks it may be, I get tired of NOT saying what runs through my head as they act like they KNOW what I feel or go through.
Yes, they are going through a lot of it with me, but they don’t feel the pain in my left side or the blinding burning headaches when my brain bleeds yet again.
They don’t pray every night to wake up in the morning, or even with every headache, nor do they thank God to wake up in what may as well be torment.
They also don’t deal with answering the same 20 questions about their self over & over & over again.
If they can’t understand how I do put up with it, how could they ever actually have to do it??
I don’t want to say the anger and rage are normal and to be expected, but it seems par for the course of what we go through.
I’m so glad I’m not alone in this anger thing… It’s been 8years since my AVM was obliterated… And my symptoms of anger depression and aanxiety have only gotten worse… One thing I do know is among all the chaos there is hope I’m not sure what that is but I know it’s out there.
After my craniotomy and AVM resection, I too am a different person. I am left with an eye issue know as a homonymous hemianopsia. I used to love crowds, I guess I still do, but navigating my way through them is so difficutlt that I have become a little reclusive. Since the surgery I am not angry and have no anger issues, but I have lost my vocal filter. In other words, I just say what I'm thinking and speak my mind. Often times my husband will kick me under the table! It just comes out and I'll say what I'm thinking. I work on this constantly and am at least now aware of it. After a while, you give up on explaining it to people. If they can't see a problem, they only assume there isn't one. It complicates the issue, but don't let getting stuck in an angry place take away your joy and happiness. How about we both learn to bite our tongues!? Keep on keeping on!
Hello Everyone,
I too have this problem and I feel grateful that I am not alone. I have to say that I am a little better than I was but I am still short tempered much more than I used to be and I am definitely not as outgoing as I used to be. I feel that I have lost so much of who I was since my surgery. I was in the middle of my bachelors degree before I became ill and even though I did manage to finish my degree, but at this time I am not doing anything with it at this time and it actually disgusts me. My husband is also ill (he has organic brain syndrome) and he was the main bread winner in our home until he got sick and then I took on that roll and I was so proud of myself that I stood up to the challenge and was able to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table even if it did take working 80 hours a week at 2 different positions. In short I know that changing blood flow to the brain had to change things but where did the people we originally were go?
James,
It's completely normal to feel angry after going through something as traumatic as what you survived. You may want to contact a counselor, who will be able to help you work through your anger and find some ways to not let it overwhelm you.
I also agree with the people who have responded and suggested getting a copy of your medical records to investigate possible organic causes of the anger, but even if there's no underlying brain cause for a change in your anger level, it's common for people who have gone through a trauma to be less patient, more snappish, and have a general level of anger that's much higher than they had previously. It can sometimes be a symptom of PTSD. My husband was deployed overseas 5 times to combat zones in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was always a patient, good natured person without much of a temper. Now he gets very upset at tiny things. Trauma changes people. Let your doctor know you're having trouble with anger and he (or she) can refer you to a counselor - hospitals usually have people on staff who specialize in patients who are having difficulty adjusting and dealing with a "new normal" after medical procedures.
I was treated for avm years ago , I’ve had issues with anger and impulsively as well as anxiety and depression. I will say I was on Keppra shortly, for epilepsy, and my moods became noticeably worse even. Since I’ve changed meds im back to my normal cranky self 
rather than very angry.
I often think that people like us who go through ordeals of major health problems are under diagnosed with ptsd .
T I can’t imagine being left with an avm, no options for treatment, and such chronic pain. .I don’t think any one would be able to ignore that and not be upset somehow. I still get headaches and visual effects and epilepsy after my avm was treated, it’s considered cured now. I have radiation damage though. I get upset easy, irritable. People I’m close to sort of get it, understand. Because when I have a good day they see how things should be! I’m pleasant, fun. I hope they understand where you’re at and how it brings you down.
Oh wow I have the same issue with people asking redundant questions, especially from family members. That gets me so livid… and they just don’t get it. It’s almost like someone is purposely trying to bug me…I’m trying to work on being more patient with folks.
It’s all good, I look at it that I’m still alive and get to see my family everyday. I’m not as outgoing as I used to be, every where my wife went, I was right beside her. Now, I tend to stay home when she goes somewhere. There are times that we make plans to go somewhere for the day and my body says go, go go but my brain says no, no no, so I stay home. I know it hurts her but I just can’t do it. I also have back problems and sometimes my brain says go, go go but my back and body say uh-uh. You move and we’re going to fall down and not get up. And basically that’s what happens. I have a spinal cord stimulator in that I was told would make me feel like a kid again. It did, for about 1 1/2 days, then everything in there moved and they had to come adjust it with a computer. He can get it just right where it feels like ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, but the next day if I bend over or something it’s like ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Oh well, nobody ever promised me a life of fluffy clouds and rainbows, so I will take the one I’ve got and try to make the best of it. I have a daughter getting married on December 27 to a great guy stationed in Hawaii in the navy, and my son and daughter in law are expecting our first grandchild in January. The problem is, I don’t think she’s going to last that long and I’m worried she may go in labor on the wedding day, I figure I will run my daughter down the aisle when they say who gives her away, I give her a little shove and say me and the mrs. But we gotta getto the hospital right now but we’ll be back, gosh I hope that doesn’t happen, but with my luck…?My aches and pains are still about the same some days even worse than horrible but, but I’m gonna ride this life out until the big guy upstairs calls me out off the field. I hope you are doing well and getting your anger issues under control. I still fight them but I feel like I’m giving it my best shot, I haven’t got served divorce papers yet, that’s a good sign and sometimes I can even get my wife to laugh at some of my jokes, she’s a tough crowd. Antyways, hope you are doing well and if you need someone to chat with, hit me up on FB. Todd Johnson from Bear Grass NC. Or let me know here and we can chat on the phone. Sometimes it’s better to chat with someone with the same problems you are than with some Dr, that doesn’t have a clue. Either way, let me know.
Hey James, I as well have this problem! And I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about it because no one knows what I’m going through. However I am very glad I found this sight, I can talk to people and they can talk to me, and we understand each other. It’s great! We can talk if you ever are mad and just need someone to talk to!
Hi there I get really bad anger issues, it caused huge probs with my Mother In Law who, to this day, doesn’t believe that it’s linked to a my AVM. She knows all about condition cos she saw a program on it!!! Can you get my anger with her. I watched a program about fishing but I’m not intending to buy a boat and take on a shark. I’ve decided it’s her problem and I’m ignoring it, not her, just any conversation about brain abnormalities. Has anyone got problems with vision, my eyes are seeing double lot of time so it’s difficult for me to get round house and the garden and going for walk on my own is a no no. Plus I have jerks, neuro guy said that AVM had very small bleed few months ago and left brain matter scarred, that is causing jerks. Stay strong, be positive I am always happy to listen if you need to sound off. Pauline
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Pauline, hi! It’s great to hear from you, though I’m sorry to learn you’re starting to have sight issues. It is fair to say that there are others here with trouble with their sight – often it depends on what part of your brain your AVM has affected.
Note: this is a very old conversation, so we may or may not get replies from the original authors. If your concern is about your eyesight, it may be worth you starting a new conversation rather than this one (being mostly about changes in mood).
Very best wishes,
Richard