Had a really bad day!! It started yesterday afternoon and just wont let go. I´m like hyper. I just cant stop doing things. Mabye it sounds funny to others but really It´s not. Last night and this morning I cried because I was so exhausted but I just coulden´t stop. How mutch I wanted my body doesent obey me. I feel like some kind of freek or a really sick person. tried to call a doctor to get help but just felt like an idiot trying to explain my problem. Feels like I can go on untill I drop dead or unconscious. My life have no mening. I dont wanna live like this. My oldest son hates me because I´m sick and that only make me feel more sad. I´m thinking of leaving, atleast for a wile and try to sort my head out. just feel like I´m in the way and like a burdon. Seems like my family is falling apart and it´s my fault.
I want nothing else but to be my old self again. to be healthy and full of energy. I want to be a mother again. I want to start school again. Now everything feels so far away and impossible!!
good night…