The results of my follow-up angiogram on 5/17 showed that the AVM is all gone! YAY! I feel like I can take on the world again, I just really needed to hear the doctor say that everything looked good.
Now back to: looking for a job, fighting off depression, trying to make a decision on where to live, trying not to get caught in the feedback loop of 'can I afford to stay here where I moved, a place that I waited and struggled the last 5 years to get back to only to have this AVM thing derail me' or 'should I move back to Arizona a place I loathe on so many levels, yet I have friends there and it's super cheap, but the politics and the heat and the people are so depressing can I afford to become even more depressed?', trying not to worry that this collection agency will send me to the poor house on their quest to wring me dry of everything I have, trying not to think about how me not being here might have been better, trying to stay focused, trying to get back into an exercise routine, trying to lose some weight, trying not to dwell on how alone I've become, try to understand why and how I drove everyone away, try to have positive things to talk about again, try not to be a robot, try to look people in the eyes, try to hold a conversation without saying something inappropriate, try not to cry like a blubbering fool in front of my uncle, try not to get a migraine, try not to be scared of messing up during a job interview, trying not to worry about the what ifs, trying to write again, trying to play music, trying to get my career back on track.
So GREAT to hear that your AVM is all gone Nicole - I can't wait for that day and it's news like yours that keeps us all so hopeful - thank you for sharing!!! Now as as getting back to the list that you included in your email ... please just take one thing at a time and everything will all work out as it should!!! You've been thru a terrifying ordeal and now you can focus on these things without living in this constant, fearful, sad state. I'm so happy for you :-)))
Great news that your AVM is gone Nicole. You must be patient with yourself, as hard as that may be to do. I had an AVM of the tongue and someone else who had the same type of AVM told me to be patient with myself. I am passing on this simple bit of wisdom. There may be times where you are frustrated but you have a new chance at life.A little patience and a little gratitude will get you far Nicole. Remember to be kind to yourself. You can ask no more of yourself. Feel free to email me if you ever need to chat.
WELL TO THE NEW GROUP OF BEIN AVM FREE CONGRATS, NOW TAKE YOUR TIME IN GETTIN THINGS BACK IN ORDER THEY WILL COME, I HAVE GONE BACK TO WORK, DRIVIN AGAIN A LITTLE SCARED EVERYTIME I DO BUT I KEEP DOIN IT EACH DAY, JUST GOT A NEW CAR SO I AM GETTIN ME BACK IT DOES COME BACK, EVERTHING THAT I HAD TO PUT ON HOLD FOR A TIME IS ALL COMING BACK KEEP THE FAITH KEEP PRAYIN IT WILL COME. BE BLESSED