Has anyone experienced anger or rage as a sympton of an AVM? Since I began having my seizures, I noticed that I was unable to emotionally handle many situations that I would have otherwise let blow over. I started yelling at my kids for things that did not require such an outburst. I had (and still have) fits of random rage where something just sets me off, usually something small and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. My patience for ANY kind of insubordination is next to nothing.
I don't remember things being this way before I started experiencing the numbness issues. The Klonapin seems to be helping a little, but I am on the lowest dose. I am tired of being angry (or at least angry looking) all the time. I got observed in during class today by my Assistant Principal. After he left, my students started laughing and said I put on a show for him. When I asked what they meant, they said I acted happy and like I liked them. I actually do like my students, but apparently I give off this constant aire of anger and meanness. That hurts.
They saw my profile picture on my Facebook page somehow and said that "that isn't you Mrs. Hardy." I told them it was and asked why they felt so. They said I looked happy. I don't want to be seen this way and I definitely don't want to be taking out any of this on my kids or my students.
Those of you who have had their AVM obliterated and were experiencing similar symptoms, did the feelings of anger and rage go away?
The answer is yes if the AVM is located in the frontal lobes. They control emotions. There is a search box located on the top right had corner of this page. Type in the word anger and I think you will be surprised at all the posts about this subject.
Hi......i was able to visualise what u went through when u said your students saw you & said "thats not you Mrs. Hardy"......i know how much pain & sadness, helplessness & frustration gets accumulated not just for 1 month , 2 month....but for years together.
The basic problem with avm is...it has a direct devastating impact on personality & emotion.. DO U KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENS ?? thats because a person suffering with AVM will no longer be able to function as per the standards they have set for themselves or perceived as "Normal"......a totally new style of functioning & complete change in the way the brain functions in terms of emotions, cognition etc etc...so when this new way of functioning is happening its not such a pleasant thing for our body to accept it & respond positively...rather its as good as somebody making u to walk using your hands instead of walking with your legs....only the person going thru the trauma will know the pain of making adjustments to oneself & adapt to the new way of living...but when we are trying to adapt ourselves to new way of living we dont get the satisfaction that common man understands appreciates our scenario or circumstances...if at all we try to push ourselves trying to explain to common man..then we are mocked & made a joker...so we would rather choose to shut up...but our mind cannot shut up so easily...so we tend to accumulate all the humiliations & evaluate why did GOD give that stupid guy who mocked at me the power to actually do so & get away so easily...that creates an unexplainable disappointment which cannot be expressed in words but just depression accumulates over years.
When this depression accumulates beyond a point of threshold.....the brain has no choice but to let it out.....be it with family, friends, colleagues, or just any stranger in the street. All that the brain needs is a TRIGGER POINT...one small friction which may amount to just 2% anger may resulting in you expressing 300% anger...because it got a chance to let out all the steam that was accumulating.
With regards to your last question "Did the feeling of anger & rage go away"...i am sure so many people on this website have already noticed that phase of my life where I WAS AT THE PEAK Of MY ANGER..it could not come under control & completely destroyed me. But finally after torturing my parents , family & punching bags for a long time & my circumstances made me realise that my anger may kill them.....i finally chose to be unemployed & took up a Formal Medical Assistance. I am still under treatment.
In a Formal MEDICAL Assistance..they will definitely try to create a forum for u to vent out, cry, shout & debate, basically let out all that was accumulated....once all that evaporates...u r in a better position to think & handle your emotions... I NEVER SAID PAIN DISAPPEARS.. I AM ONLY HIGHLIGHTING THE 300% ANGER will drastically reduce. BUT IT WILL TAKE ATLEAST 3 MONTHS OF PATIENCE & SURRENDER TO THE DOCTOR.....THOSE 3 MONTHS WILL BE THE TOUGHEST CHALLENGE OF YOUR LIFE. I didnt want to comment on specifics of the treatment..as it differs from case to case ...your doctor knows best...but u need to explain all these symptoms of anger to your doctor. The doctor will decide what needs to be done.
I wish you all the best. Hang on !!!
I am having anger issues as well, uncontrollable rage that appears out of nowhere and leave me feeling guilty. I’ve been doing some research online about different ways of controlling it. I found one that looks promising & interesting… I’m going to try a challenge it’s called “the orange rhino” but something has to give because a person can’t keep living like thisnot only does it make you feel bad about you but it hurt the people around you too
I'll say this, "rage", "anger" and "narcissist" have become about the most overused words lately. Why? Because they minimize or exaggerate the importance of other's feelings. They are loaded words , which paint people into corners. They delegitimize what people are feeling.
YES!!! OMG! The anger and rage episodes I go through. Basically, don't piss me off and you won't hear my mouth, lol. I owed a lot of that to the meds, the swelling on my brain and my seizures. And mostly because people don't really understand. They think because you had surgery to obliterate it, everything should be fine now.
I have not had my avm obliterated, unfortunately, but my anger, and being crabby I have thought was due to the Keppra side effects. I was more emotional after a stroke I suffered during my second embolization, but got better after time.
I always had a temper, but it has gotten shorter in the last few years. I try to think of my children when ever I get angry and how my blood pressure going up just makes me weak and having to lay down, so it has helped me to not loose it.
Keep positive and laugh as often as you can.
I have experienced a lot of anger!!!!! Back when my AVM just happened I would punch walls, people it didn't matter what the situation was. It is now 40 years later and I still have to tell my wife or son to please not get me angry. I just walk away from getting into a heavy argument or I leave the house if I feel like they are pushing me to a certain point. That really helps me. They never operated on me, my AVM was left alone. It might have been the meds I took forever I don't really know.
Yes! It is the guilt that is the worst. My baby girls do not deserve my wrath. I used to be so compassionate and so mellow. I started having the small seizures and everything began to change. I love them deeply but I would so much more love the get this thing out of my head. Maybe it is not the AVM that is causing these changes. It could also easily be that I have emotional/psychological issues that I need to deal with as well. But until it is out, I will never know.
You mentioned that you had a stroke after your second embolization. Did the procedure cause the stroke?
Yes, I noticed a very similar feeling during what I now see as a regular conversation. Short tempered and a low tolerance for silly questions or behavior. I am glad you brought up this topic.
May I ask why they left your AVM alone? Do they check it annually to make sure everything looks ok? To be honest, the scariest thought I have going into my initial consult is that they are going to want to leave it be. It is reassuring that you are going on 40 years after the initial diagnosis and you are fine. However, I have anxiety/OCD issues anyway. I am scared to think of what life for me would be like if I am told I have just have to live with this thing in my head. What meds did they keep you on?
You are welcome Drew. I am just so glad I am not the only one experiencing these symptoms. And, it feels good to know that I am not an awful mean person...that there is something in my brain controlling these behaviors.
I'm glad you brought this up,too. Ive ALWAYS had anger issues. Passive anger mostly so I'm only hurting myself. As a recovering alcoholic I have worked on this and improved greatly for awhile. But anger has been rearing it's ugly head again and I've been trying to use the 12 steps with very little success. I'm not glad others have symptoms and issues but it does feel good to know others have experiences like mine and I'm not just a b--ch!
You're not alone. I'm certain many of us have our moments of anger or frustration that turns into anger. I know I do. I believe it's due to not having control over my seizures, and reading a line or two below, I have to disagree with Barbara H. I personally had an AVM removed which had nothing to do with the frontal lobes. The seizures are just coming back. I don't remember any of them and feel embarrassed when I find out about them. It's something I'm trying to take care of every way possible, although that's very hard to do... In the meantime, I have an appointment with MINCEP in June to find out if there is anything possible to at least control my seizures.
You take care and we'll meet up again!
So were you having seizure prior to your removal? I have been told my seizures are a result of the damaged brain tissue the AVM caused, not the AVM itself. I would imagine that any treatment to remove the AVM has a decent probability of further damaging surrounding brain tissue, which would make the liklihood of more seizures higher. Right now, my seizures have been completely controlled with medication, but I have not had mine removed yet or even know if removal is possible. Are you on meds? Are they not working?
I only had one seizure prior to my AVM removal. I was told the AVM caused my seizure and went about 25 years without having one after the surgery. I've recently had a few EEG's, MRI's, etc., and what they find is a jumbled mess where the AVM was. (This was the words of the tech who took my MRI.) I'm so glad your seizures are controlled with meds. Mine are off and on, but seem to be getting worse. I was on Tegretol 27 years until my neurologist added Ativan and Keppra. She increased my Tregretol from 400 mg per day to 900 mg., added Ativan twice daily, and Keppra 3 times daily. Then I started having multiple seizures everyday. She immediately (cold turkey), took me off the Keppra, which caused more seizures. I started taking 1 a day and they seem to have calmed down somewhat, but not completely. That is why I'm now headed to MINCEP.
You hang in there Jess! I know you'll be fine and a good neurologist will get you on the right meds, or they need to refer you to the best in the country!
I wish you the best! What a roller coaster you are on. You are in my thoughts for sure.