Accepting Reality

Today I had a harsh reality check.

I was playing with my daughter having a wonderful time. She’s learned to roll over and gets so excited and proud of herself every time. It’s very fun to watch her. But today a headache hit smack-dab in the middle of our play time. I took some Tylenol and went back to playing hoping it wouldn’t get worse. Well, it did. I scooped her up and we trotted into the bedroom and woke my husband. I had to ask for help. I couldn’t continue playing, I had to rest my head.

Of course, he got up and took over without even a second thought. But the moment my head hit the pillow, mommy guilt struck. I cried and cried as I felt so guilty that I had to end our fun time because of a dumb headache. A dumb headache that pains me daily. A dumb headache that I didn’t ask for or deserve.

I could hear her laughing as daddy always brings out those big belly laughs. They were having a fantastic time. I finally got up and shut the door. It hurt my heart to know that I couldn’t be in there playing with them as I had to rest.

I fell asleep and woke an hour later to her smiling face. My headache had gone and she was snuggling up to me to wake me up as it was time for daddy to go to work. We had a great time the rest of the day. Played more, sang songs, and enjoyed some cartoons.

Sometimes, events like today feel as if the world is ending. It was a harsh reality, but… the world didn’t end. I would say the “worst” part for my daughter was she got a side ache from laughing too much with daddy.

I am very thankful that I have events like this. Yes, that’s what I said, thankful for events that make me cry. I’m thankful because they show me all of the blessings I have. A wonderful daughter, an amazing husband, and a great family that I love very much.

It is wonderful that you see your blessings, we can't always predict what life is going to throw at us but we can determine how we deal with it.. AVM's don't just cause the headaches, depending on where they are located they can also affect your emotions.. I cry frequently but am also blessed with a wonderful, supportive husband... Thanks for your post

I know how you feel! Except my "baby" is going to be 9 next month and when my headache hits he ends up taking care of me and it makes me feel like a horrible Mom. But then he reminds me that its ok and that he loves me and it doesnt happen everyday and its not my fault. I nor any of us ask for these headaches! I just wish we didnt get them or if we had to get them that we could predict when we we're going to have one! Tons of hugs and again I totally agree with your whole post :)