6 days

6 days to liftoff and 7 days to operation. It´s closing in. Had another bad day today but in a diffrent way. Sat at lunch and talked to my friend here at the nursingward and suddenly I coulden´t say a word. This time I felt I had no more tears, I just felt hopless. I got up and went to the nurse and pointed at my trout. A doctor came in and looked at me and they took me to X-ray. That showed nothing… as usually and the doctor talked about the same old stuff. High blood flo in the AVM or a Epeleptic attac. I just felt tired and fed up with this. How mutch more is gonna happen. I know Ít´s only a week left but so mutch can happen in a week. Have to stop thinking like this and keep fighting. But at the same time I have to Feel, I have to be sad, angry and scared. Feels a little better now. I won over Annie in cards and she brought cookies. Hehe always nice to eat when youre sad:) Soon I´ll be home walking with Emma and our dogs:) Good night/ Hoppas på ett bättre imorgon. saknar er!!!

Hej Monica:)
Kjenner igjen den håpløse følelsen når man får et anfall og blir møtt med de samme frasene om at dette bare er fordi osv eller enda mer håpløst “dette er bare et psykogenisk anfall”.
En uke går både fort og sakte på samme tid, håper for det beste for deg og vil tenke på deg i uka som kommer.
Klem og positive tanker
Hanne xxx