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Comment by Ameenah on June 23, 2010 at 5:42am

My friend put a few colors on her wall and looked at them for a few days and then she chose the one she liked the best. She just used a paint brush and put a few different tones of the same color in strips right beside each other. It's funny, it was some kind of mauve or rose color.

Comment by Chris Safford on June 22, 2010 at 11:49am

Yes Sleep is the healing balm! I am going to paint the living room! I just haven't got the color right! I want sort of a mauve or muted rose! Sort of the color of the sun setting in the southwest!

Comment by Ameenah on June 21, 2010 at 1:50am

I know it is hard for you, it's hard for me and I don't have much pain. It takes time to heal, get your rest, rest helps with the healing.
Sleep is the healing balm

Comment by Ameenah on June 21, 2010 at 1:44am

Well Chris, focus on yourself and getting better.

My 18 year old took a class this summer, she is studying in the living room, she is naturally messy, I'm 51, but I have learned to live and let live. I can't stand to see others mess, but I said look on the bright side, at least she is studying, after much partying lol. She will go to class tomorrow and I'll make sure she gets her books, papers and junk up before she leaves. I had to realize, she is not me, she studies messy. I'm very neat, but I sew messy. She is sloppy like my husband, so she got it honestly lol lol. She is a Mathematics Major, maybe if she focused on being neat, she would not be able to focus on her math. I know when I am creating being neat doesn't cross my mind. When I sew, I throw all scraps on the floor, I sweep it later. I tried a trash can, it did not work, I create better when I fling the fabric scraps lol lol.

I say all that to say, old habits can die, I'm learning to live and let live. Today was much more pleasant because I did not say anything about my daughters messy papers and books. She does not have air conditioning in her bedroom, I have it downstairs, that is why she was studying down there.

I am a minimalist, it's easy to keep my downstairs neat, it's not much down there lol lol
Upstairs, it's more stuff and that's were my husband makes his mess lol.

Even though you are 55, they are your parents and you are their kid :)
I still say paint if you can. The right color can be very stimulating. The wrong color, well you know what the wrong color can do, that's why you don't want it lol.

Live and let live,
Ameenah

Comment by Chris Safford on June 20, 2010 at 10:20am

Did I add that I'm 55 yrs old??? I guess old habits don't die. Before my husband died & after, too, until my hopuse was foreclosed on, I kept a sort of neat house. I've been having headaches lately, yesterday, one lasted all day, even though I took migraine meds. It was on my left side of my head, op[posite from my AVM.

Comment by Ameenah on June 19, 2010 at 12:54pm

Hi Chris, there is not a kid in the world that listens to everything their parents say, if you can figure out how to get away with it, paint whatever color makes you feel good :)

I am very picky, my kids say crazy lol lol, 23 year old has moved and the 18 is home for the summer. I'm not as picky as I use to be because the 18 year olds room is a mess, I don't care these daya, as long as the mess stays in her room lol lol.

LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE and keep LAUGHING, hopefully you'll get as long here as your parents are getting:)

Comment by Chris Safford on June 19, 2010 at 11:28am

Thank you for all of your thoughts on this! Can you believe that even my parents are like that???? I guess they think that because I can do most of the stuff I am supposed to do, that my brain is normal like theirs is????!!!! When they tell me to clean something up, like my room, I really don't understand what they want or expect of me. I try to rearrange things in a more orderly fashion, but it's never good enough for them!!!!
Now, I am supposed to move into a house that they own, that my sister & her messed up daughter lived in & really wrecked it. (I do mean "Wrecked (Trashed?) it"!") According to them, I cannot paint the living room which is the color of light "poo"! I want to paint it the color of southwestern mauve. Like an "adobe Pink", which is really not a pink, but a shade of mauve or rose! Anyway, thank all of you!

Comment by james on June 18, 2010 at 6:15am

It's been four years since my operation, though I am ok but my abilities were less than before, and I am doing some simpler work and therefore lower paid. I know that my wife is not very happy about this. I realised that no matter how much I try, it's probably never enough. So I am thinking that I should be happy with myself, and try to look after myself better. There are always pressure at work as well, one is always expected to work more hours, do more work, at some point a line has to be drawn. Now I am using a couple of ways to cope, I keep telling myself that I can live on my faith in God. Another mental tool is try to love more, love those around you, and explain things to them. Lastly have a plan about where you want to go and what you want to do. I spent most of my time looking after the kids. I am not getting any financial reward, and partly living on government benefit, but I can held my head high as I am a good dad. I hope that you can find that you are valuable and should be treasured.

By posting this blog you have started a discussion about a common theme with sufferers, and you can contributed to the welfare of others.

Comment by Ameenah on June 18, 2010 at 5:19am

Hi Chris, I know it is hard to be sick.
You may have to get help to take care of you and your parents. Although your parents are doing relatively well, they are in their 80's.

If you can, get help for everyone, you too.

I use to let people upset me because they were getting on my nerves with their talk, but they weren't doing anything. I'm no longer upset by them, I just have time for living:)

You have to remember most people identify themselves with a job, if you don't have one you are nothing in their eyes. lol lol I have never identified myself with a job.

Don't feed into your cousin, lol lol, you do not have time for her stuff.
She may think she is helping you, whatever she thinks, don't let her get you down again.

Peace,
Ameenah

Comment by Rachel Rios on June 3, 2010 at 2:35pm

I have run into this as well. With most of them, I have picked up almost a hint of . . . jealousy, perhaps? Jealous of what?!!! Actually, I've encountered it from those friends and relatives that like to be the center of attention (heaven forbid I take away some of that attention) or from those who really hate their life and their job . . . and would LOVE to also be on public assistance. That's just MY experience. Or is it that they just don't want to talk about your condition anymore? And so certain people avoid you. This happened to me for a while. Somehow, I think your dad knew your cousin was "on a roll" and left to avoid unpleasant conversation (maybe because he didn't know what to say to defuse the situation). I'm just guessing here. I honestly think she just likes to be bossy or be the center of attention or, as I mentioned earlier, nurse her jealousy publicly. In my experience, I found 2-3 relatives and/or friends who I can count on to be objective, yet always take my side and stand up for me when others become a little obtuse. Find yourself a couple of those people who can give you that kind of support and FORGET that cousin! Good luck and hang in there.

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