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Comment by Andrea Fisher on January 20, 2013 at 8:37pm

Thanks everyone as it tunrs out I had a great birthday! I felt a little down and out but nothing like I thought I would. Yea I dont have everything I thought I would at this age but you know what that is just how life works and maybe having my children 12 yrs (give or take) apart was just gods plan for us. And I will take anything I can get :) Im ok with how my life is but I certainly cant wait for the words your AVM free to be shouted at me from my DR lol! But again thank you everyone for your amazing comments I love this group you all can always brighten my day :)

Moderator Comment by Ninibeth Ramirez on January 9, 2013 at 4:25pm

Hi Andrea
I understand you. When I was going to be on my 30th I felt sad. Mainly I think because I still feel like in my 20th :-D . It's emotional and is normal. You have the age of how you feel...

My sister told me that I needed to be grateful because other people do not reach that age .. that is a blessing to be 30 because I was supposed to die when my massive brain hemorrhage... After all the things she told me to make me feel better I still felt a little sad but I began to think she was right. Long story short my sister and I take a fun vacation to celebrate been alive!!

Celebrate your life at your 30 and try to have fun!!!

Comment by just call me jules-babe on January 5, 2013 at 10:55am

Hi Andrea - I'm a "few" years older than you; but I understand exactly how you feel. I kind of feel like the rug of my dreams was swept from underneath me - now, I've decided to make new dreams. At 42, it seems a bit more challenging to whip out a new dream...good thing that I've got some imagination and patience left :)

I've learned that some dreams have to be re-invented or sometimes just surrendered. I keep a list of my "letting go" and "surrender" faves. One is by Eckhart Tolle:

"Sometimes surrendering means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with the unknown."

That's my deep thought for the day :)

Comment by Nicole R on January 5, 2013 at 3:50am

I hear you, I'm about to turn the big 3-5 in 3 days and my life is nowhere near where I wanted it to be. I got no kids, no significant other, no career, I live in a 400 sq foot house, it's like living in a college dorm all over again, but I have to make my own meals and I can't blame my roommate for the mess, because he's a cat. :P

Be thankful for what you DO have, try not to focus on what you DON'T have, your life doesn't sound so bad to me. I'd trade mine for yours any day. :) To paraphrase Einstein, it's all relative.

Sheryl Crow sings a very profound lyric that goes:
"I don't have diddly squat. It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got."

Comment by Ben Mrl on January 2, 2013 at 11:20am

Barbara - LOL. I was thinking the same thing. I'm 50 and 30 sounds young to me too. That's sad when we start feeling our age. ha ha

Andrea - I don't think age really has anything to do with how you are feeling. Not literally anyway. I believe many of us has had our dreams crushed from this horrible disease. I never....in a million years.... thought I would end up disabled from it but, I did. I miss working, I miss being able to do all of the things I use to do. I miss 'feeling' healthy. Now - I simply play the cards I'm dealt... and some days I'm dealt a better hand than the day before (wink) :)

Ben

Comment by Heidi on January 2, 2013 at 3:06am

Andrea,

I get what you mean. My AVM is gone but I have lost function in my right leg and cannot drive at age 41. I also have stage 3-4 liver cirrhosis due to autoimmune hepatitis. Due to that, I am infertile, so we adopted a lovely child, now 7. I am on disability and so miss my career, which I loved. We want to adopt again but first I have to be able to drive, which I am awaiting a left foot gas pedal any day now. I am so hoping my liver condition will not end our adoption hopes as my liver has improved and my autoimmune condition seems to be in remission. I wish you all the best! God Bless!

Kathy

Moderator Comment by Barbara H. on January 1, 2013 at 10:43pm

Hi Andrea. YIKES...I am 54 and 30 sounds young to me. When the heck did that happen? LOL. Actually I agree..having an AVM stinks!