Next Monday I am going to my follow up appointment. The staff at KU Med will determine how and if they can treat my ruptured vein.
When I was at the hospital they mentioned that their first choice would be giving me a gamma knife treatment. Which I knew little about until today. I woke up at 6:30am and started researching general information about it. Unfortunately, I found pictures of a patient receiving the treatment and discovered that they drill the brace into your skull with four screws.
While I have been very calm and optimistic about everything that has occurred since December 30th this is the point where I start getting nervous. The idea of being awake, heavily sedated and having them drill a brace into my skull is more than off-putting.
This whole experience has just been bizarre. Going from occasionally taking TUMS to pain medication and a plethora of others is just surreal to a certain degree. Furthermore -- being a planner -- I hate that I am not sure what I'll be able to do and not do after my surgery.
For instance, if I were unable to fly after the procedure I'll have to completely re-plan my future from my university degree to where I intend to live.
This is a jumbled post at best, but this is the first time I've really felt unsure or felt the weight of how much my AVM could affect my life. So I thought I would just share my current thoughts here.