Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tina on July 25, 2011 at 2:49pm

I am not a husband but my husband goes through those too. in the beginning of our marriage I didn't understand. I thought he was mad at me. so his mom told me that when he gets tired he act like this. and the meds. will also do this. look up the side effects for her meds. d melton don't take it personal. one way to look at it is we know the reason why they are going through those emotions. I will let him have his own time that day. I will ask him if he is tired. or know this is what is going on and try going with the flow of things if that makes sense. it can be very frustrating. we have been married for 20 years and it is still hard and I get mad at myself. But at the end of the day the most important thing is coming together and forgiving one another and know we are working it out.

Love and God Bless
Mark and Tina

Permalink Reply by cc on July 28, 2011 at 1:01am

Hi d melton I would just like to say my hubby would have to have the worst mood swings ever!!!!!! He is totally unreasonable and snaps at anyone, any time. Everyone cant get over how he still has someone to talk to. But everyone says its just him and they accept him for it. It seems that the only time he is happy is when he gets him own way, not sure if its the avm or just him being spoilt and everyone giving in to him.
I think it goes in cycles where everything is calm and you think this is good we can cope then all of a sudden things seem out of control over the smallest things. Is that what you find?? I would love to know. Hang in there.

Permalink Reply by John on November 4, 2011 at 11:38pm

You sound like you know my husband. My husband was jovial, outgoing, & on top of the world until June 2008 when he had his AVM. Now, we go no where, no intimacy, & he's been on 1,500mg's of depakote for his mood swings.
We've been married for 42 years & I thank God the first 39 years were great. For the last 3 years I tell my family this is where my marital vowels come to mind "for better or worse, sickness & in health".

Permalink Reply by Flo on November 5, 2011 at 5:47pm

Hi "John" - I am sad for you and understand how it feels. How does your family respond to him now that he is "different"? Have they been able to accept him the way he is now? I have found this a problem for me/us - the extended family has basically shunned my hub. As a wife we do have the wedding vows to consider and our past marriage experiences so remember and take into consideration , but others do not have this "obligation" to fulfil. Have they supported you?

Permalink Reply by Flo on September 11, 2011 at 5:15pm

Hi, yes my husband has had intense moods since his AVM surgery. Very, very hyper then angry and judgmental. Sadly has alienated many in the extended family. No longer trusts people he used to love and trust and was close friends with. The mood swings have decreased as time has gone by - the surgery was in 2005. Much better now as far as self control of anger is concerned, but sadly the damage has already been done to many relationships. i found that not "engaging" , ie. not trying to argue with him when he is angry de-escalates the situation. Also there are certain topics we are no longer able to talk about. Our relationship has had to change but we have more good times then bad now, thank God.

Permalink Reply by Matt Mihalek on October 2, 2011 at 12:35pm

My wife Paula has experienced all of these swings. The AVM is rough on her, and myself. Being a spouse to someone going through this isn't easy, as you all know. My wife and I had a talk the other day about the "old Paula" and this new woman. She is still in there, just different now. Honestly though, our marriage is better than it was before she got "sick".