Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jeanette Gordon on March 8, 2010 at 10:39am

I totally, completely understand. It's hard to be upset or frustrated with your spouse when you consider what they have to deal with...but sometimes it's worse on the family being it effects your everyday life. Decision making, plans, converstaions - like they've never happened or things they do and then deny and are upset with you or blame it on the kids.
My husband is extremly lucky being he really only has short term memory and vision issues. I love him so much, but it puts alot of stress on me trying to keep the peace and keeping everyone on track and things straight!

Permalink Reply by Jeanette Gordon on March 8, 2010 at 11:17am

what has worked for eveyone to help with the memory issues/ communication? I just purchased a big white board to hang on the wall. I hope to write things down - like a to-do and a ta-did list.


Jeanette Gordon said:

I totally, completely understand. It's hard to be upset or frustrated with your spouse when you consider what they have to deal with...but sometimes it's worse on the family being it effects your everyday life. Decision making, plans, converstaions - like they've never happened or things they do and then deny and are upset with you or blame it on the kids.
My husband is extremly lucky being he really only has short term memory and vision issues. I love him so much, but it puts alot of stress on me trying to keep the peace and keeping everyone on track and things straight!

Permalink Reply by Tina on March 8, 2010 at 3:50pm

He Jeanette,

thanks for replying to my discussion. our son is 16 it was really hard when he was like 13 -15 because he just did not understand. I did know how to explain it to him , I did the best that I could but it didn't help he would get so upset with his dad. like his dad will repeat over and over the same thing.

Just talking with others to see if we are not the only one's going through this. so that we could have discussions on them and if something is working for one than others that have the same issues we could start using them.

how old are your children?

God Bless
Tina

Jeanette Gordon said:

what has worked for eveyone to help with the memory issues/ communication? I just purchased a big white board to hang on the wall. I hope to write things down - like a to-do and a ta-did list.


Jeanette Gordon said:

I totally, completely understand. It's hard to be upset or frustrated with your spouse when you consider what they have to deal with...but sometimes it's worse on the family being it effects your everyday life. Decision making, plans, converstaions - like they've never happened or things they do and then deny and are upset with you or blame it on the kids.
My husband is extremly lucky being he really only has short term memory and vision issues. I love him so much, but it puts alot of stress on me trying to keep the peace and keeping everyone on track and things straight!

Permalink Reply by Jeanette Gordon on March 8, 2010 at 4:30pm

Repeating things over and over...yes! Patience is very difficult sometime isn't it! ;-) but we try really hard not to cut him off. It does seem, when we remind him he told us the story, it helps. but we are always very sweet about it. I think the worst part is he feels he's not in control of his life...and frequently I'm accused of being "controlling" - when the truth is - I hate being in charge of it all! But I do it because, that's just what I have to do (even if I try to give him as much responsibility as possible)

Our girls are 16 and 19 and Mike's event was about 3 years ago. Has your husband done much therapy? we have problems getting therapy being Mike is highly functioning. we actually have an appointment with a Neuro-Psychologist next month for testing.

Tina said:

He Jeanette,

thanks for replying to my discussion. our son is 16 it was really hard when he was like 13 -15 because he just did not understand. I did know how to explain it to him , I did the best that I could but it didn't help he would get so upset with his dad. like his dad will repeat over and over the same thing.

Just talking with others to see if we are not the only one's going through this. so that we could have discussions on them and if something is working for one than others that have the same issues we could start using them.

how old are your children?

God Bless
Tina

Jeanette Gordon said:

what has worked for eveyone to help with the memory issues/ communication? I just purchased a big white board to hang on the wall. I hope to write things down - like a to-do and a ta-did list.


Jeanette Gordon said:

I totally, completely understand. It's hard to be upset or frustrated with your spouse when you consider what they have to deal with...but sometimes it's worse on the family being it effects your everyday life. Decision making, plans, converstaions - like they've never happened or things they do and then deny and are upset with you or blame it on the kids.
My husband is extremly lucky being he really only has short term memory and vision issues. I love him so much, but it puts alot of stress on me trying to keep the peace and keeping everyone on track and things straight!

Permalink Reply by Armand on November 21, 2010 at 12:41am

Thank you for your message. It helps me understand my wife better.

Often, there is a feeling of lost control of my life. Then, I start to blame her for being a control freak. Then, I get into a panic situation and jump into her brilliant organizational system. Next, I argue with her for always taking control. And most of the time, I don't remember the last step with the short term memory loss.

I know this see-saw is difficult for her. Especially when she is trying so hard to help. I just keep working on improving myself and hoping that it is making life a little easier for her. Your words help me to understand some more stuff, so thank you.

Permalink Reply by Tina on November 24, 2010 at 8:55pm

Hi Al,

I know it has to be harder for my husband. I can't even begin to understand the frustrations and what he goes through. Mark and I have been married for 18 years. we have a 17 year old son. we go through the same emotions. if you ever want to ask a question or your wife wants to compare notes don't hesitate.

Mark and Tina
Love and God Bless

Permalink Reply by Armand on March 19, 2011 at 11:59pm

I don't know if you still read this page. I hope you people are doing well with the memory problems. It's a subject that sometimes hits me hard. I've got my own laptop now. It's good for helping me keep track of things. I've learned not to get too upset when I realize I have not turned it on for a couple of weeks. Sometimes, I just have to let go what I've already forgotten.

The kids are 17, 19, and 21. I've told them some of the problems I've got. It's a difficult thing to do. I don't try to use it as an excuse. So, I don't give them a lot of details. I just think they should know a little of why I act funny or strange.

It hurts when I can't remember details of their lives. When I tell them my memory is like Swiss Cheese, they think it's a joke. I let them laugh and release the tension. Then, we go back to something important like discussing my daughter's next tattoo.

I'm working hard to make lists and keep track of things. I know I"ll never be full strength, but I can't give up.

Hope you're doing well.